CONTACT: resipsapoker at hotmail dot communism is a failed system

online casinos accepting US players

Showing posts with label poker sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poker sucks. Show all posts

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Puttering Along

Not much content here.

I stayed up too late last night playing some 50 Rush. There wasn't any good reason to do it, it just kinda happened.

Even in Rush Poker there are loooong dry spells when your hand usually never improves and you're constantly being outdrawn on those occasions where it does. I had a frustrating stretch that lasted about a thousand hands and featured no sets, no big draws coming in, nothing. And when I did finally flop a set I ran directly into a flopped set of aces. Thankfully a scary board (or a charitable opponent) meant I didn't get stacked in the process.


I did manage to stack a donk one time on the evening which got me back to even. I really should turn off automatic rebuys - I lose track of how much I'm down due to folding and it's too easy to call a raise and then check-fold reflexively like a wuss.

Then again, I probably won't play again for a while so whatever. I'll probably forget.

Monday, June 07, 2010

I Could Quit At Any Time

Man, I hate to sound like a broken record.

Stop me if you've heard this before: I kinda hate poker.

As usual I'm just venting. I had an OK session last night, booking a reasonable win. And then tonight I donk off three nights' worth of gains plus the bonus I'd cleared ... in two hands. QQ less than AA, JJ less than QQ. Stupid.

Unlimited hold them, I am not good at it.

So I'm back to the start and if this is how it's going to be, why even bother?

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Back and better than ever, the BBT5 is a chance to win one of several WSOP seats by playing blogger tournaments. I could explain it better, but instead I'm just going to link you to the man behind it all.

The series kicked off tonight, I think, with some kind of invitational. I'm kinda fuzzy on that one. There are Monday and Wednesday tournaments each week for the next six weeks and then a tournament of champeens.

I don't think I'll be playing too many events - 10:00 pm starts and oh, yeah, right, I suck at poker - but it's a great series reworked so that you don't have to kill yourself to have a chance.

I have no other pokerings to talk about. I did sign on to check out Rush poker tournaments, but I didn't have the patience to wait 2 hours for one to start. ADD FTL.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

If You Got Here By Searching For Poker, Try Again

I think it's about time to turn this into a golf blog.

Seriously. Any confidence that I had that I knew the first thing about poker has been completely demolished.

I shook off another beating yesterday, handling it well. I wasn't even fazed by the ESP of the guy who called me down on a board of A23Q with two clubs. Of course he knew that a red 4 was going to come on the river to make his pocket 5s gold against my AQ. No worries.

Things weren't so positive today as I received another string of full-wind-up kicks in the junk. TILT. I especially enjoyed losing with Jc Tc on a 7h 8c 9c Qd board. Got flop action so I grossly overbet the pot on the turn. Can I just pick it up there? Fuck no. Standard low club on the river makes the naked ace high flush draw good. Way to call all in with that sir.

This just isn't any fun.

Other than the occasional pleasure of crushing shortstacker dreams or of outplaying some douche canoe who thinks 4-betting with Q8o in a battle of the blinds is a good idea, there has been precious little enjoyment involved lately.

I'm very very close to withdrawing what I have and just not playing on Tilt again until fall - although I would think about doing something with my accumulated iron medals. Maybe play a couple token tournaments or something.

Count me as really, really, really glad that spring is just about here so that I have something else to do. I'm as tired of the bad beat stories as you are.

Speaking of bad beats, it's almost time to take one from the government. Stupid ass daylight savings time.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

One Step Closer

I'm moving ever closer to just cashing out. Of course by the time I pull the trigger there won't be anything left, but whatever.

Minimal play tonight. Donked off a buyin at the 25 game playing stupid.

Also tried a few super turbo sit 'n gos for variety. FAIL.

Entry 1: 45 player. 6 places pay. I nearly triple up first orbit, don't see another hand worth a single chip, die in 8th place when A8 < KT.

Entry 2: 9 player. 3 places pay. Go out 8th when KQ < KTs.

Entry 3: 9 player. 3 places pay. Out in 4th. Couldn't outlast the 2 stacks that were equivalent to mine. A3s < AK < AQ or something like that.

Although I thought the push-or-fold game might suit my weak/tight style, I'm probably too tight to be +EV at these stupid games.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Mastadonk Weekend Update

I had a good time playing Kat's Mammoth Weekend donkament last night. I folded my way to a third place finish and some cash. Congratulations to Pokerwolf and OhCaptain on chopping it up. And a cordial FFFFUUUUU to Wolf for taking me out - I openshoved ATo on the button, he re-raised to get heads up with the hammer and made a fricking HAMMERBOAT (2 on flop, 7 on turn, 7 on river).


That's how I run.

At least I didn't rebuy much at all, so I think I made a decent profit (for a dolla donkament). Nice to see a lot of familiar faces.
Chat didn't happen much as I was busy grinding through rush hands.


Speaking of Rush, yesterday's session has me thoroughly confused.

I know I dumped a buyin in the fifty game with what has been so VERY standard lately - I get QQ, the flop is AQ4, 4 on the turn (which is checked through) and I forget what the river was. I think it filled a flush draw. I bet out, have to call a shove and of course - OF FUCKING COURSE - I run into AA. I don't think he re-raised me preflop and the turn check was beautiful cover (I was looking to jam there anyway tbh).

That's the sort of thing that has been happening a lot. It's never AK or the flush, it's always the stone cold nuts or at least one hand closer to the nuts than what I have. And it's frustrating as hell.

At least I handled it much better last night than I have been.

When skimming through the hand histories to try and post the exact hand, I couldn't find it. I didn't spend a ton of time looking, but I'm still kind of irked that it may not be there. I might try importing the hands later to see if I can find it.

After a while I just played some 25, and I ended up basically up two buyins at that game. Combined with my donkament "score" I figured I should be pretty darn close to break even for the evening.

Here's the confusing part: I ended up down almost two buyins. (Initially I thought it was six, but I realized I was misremembering the start balance). I know I bleed off some with auto-rebuys activated, but I can't remember doing much damage at all. No other stackings, not so much chasing, no super retarded beats that I can recall.

Whatever. I'm sure it's right and I just spewed off more than I recall. Still a bummer to see the ending number in black and white though.

I'm almost within 1000 points of my goal. It's going to take longer than I would like - if I had last week's bankroll I could knock it out in one session - since I'm down about 65% in the last seven days or so. You can find me and the ghost of my roll donking it up at the nanolimit rush games until then. Once that's done I may just quit.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


I'm worried.

Worried about becoming Waffles.

At poker anyway.

I don't know that other aspects of Waffles and his life could possibly be duplicated.

Um. So.

Three lengthy sessions and I'm within a supersized Extra Value Meal of where I started.

Today's session ended within a couple of gumballs of dead even.

Oh well. At least I racked up a whole whopping mess (by my standards) of points.


Also: Argh. I hardly ever get anyone willing to stack off. Got it in good on the turn twice tonight and they sucked out both times (flush draw vs my top set; set vs my made nut frush).


If I had dodged a couple sets yesterday or either of the above I'd be bragging about running hot.

Instead I'm thinking about getting a box of Eggos for tomorrow and cursing the FTP RNG as usual.

What a stupid game.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

FTP Updated

It looks like I picked the wrong month to stop sniffing glue. I guess this would be a bad time to quit Full Tilt for the month.

Reading the forums this morning it sounds like the overnight software update is major and does a couple of good things. Minimum buyins are increased - from 20bb to 35bb in my preferred games - which will have an impact of some sort on the shortstacker universe. Good work.

But the really interesting thing is "Rush Poker". I can't even describe it adequately - in part because I won't get to try it until later - but it sounds awesome for ADD types.

Revised plan: Try out Rush Poker. Try out ring games with higher minimums. Move down. Way down. Deal with relentless tide of bad beats and just hope to stay alive man stay alive. Also: Email FTP support and ask them to turn off the doomswitch.

Monday, July 13, 2009


I think I've discovered the problem.

Well, yes, sucking at poker is part of the problem. Thank you for pointing that out.

The rest appears to be playing too high.

I opened up a 10 PLO table and after an early stacking have run it up to over 70.

I don't need to play better, I just need more retarted opponents!


Full Tilt is running some birthday stuff, including 5x points for 24 hours starting just after midnight tonight.

Sleep who needs it.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

A Brainless Poll

Which has made more donkeys into "ballas":

1. Luckboxing of multi-table tournament(s)


2. Running hotter than the sun at cash games?

Curious mind wants to know.


This probably belongs in a Facebook update, but I'm temporarily running good at lifegolf. Poker is a frustrating series of up and down always stuck in the same range.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

I Would Buy The Book

Finally someone who gets it. Waffles on tournament poker:
There is no skill involved. Just throw your chips in with [any two cards] and pray to whatever gods you worship.
Yeah. That.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

There Must Be A Million Ways To Say "Razz Sucks"

Finally, some poker. I made it home early last night thanks to lousy weather and subjected myself to the torture that is Razz - the Skillz Series event of the week.

A small digression - There are still several weeks left in the BBT4. If you're just now stumbling across this blog, the BBT4 is a series of tournaments running Sundays-Wednesdays. Full Tilt has thrown in a bunch of money in the form of WSOP seats and other goodies. See Al Can't Hang for details. Win a tournament, get into the tournament of champions. Win the TOC (or finish 2nd I think) and go to the main event!

Anyway, back to razz. F razz. Sure aggression counts, but since most bloggers are now aggrotards, the biggest factor in razz is an ability to catch cards. Yeah, like I'm going to do that. I went out in hour two shortly after a crippling hand. I got my opponent all in on 5th knowing I was ahead (and a 3-1 favorite) with a made hand. I brick out with a pair of kings, he gets what he needs. So rigged. Hate hate hate hate.

Maybe it was a mercy killing. I'd probably still be on hyper monkey tilt this morning if I'd played any longer. Razz has a way of making me crazy. Razz sucks.

Tonight is the Mookie, as usual at 10pm eastern. Stay up past your bedtime and play it.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Worst Thing

The worst feeling in poker has to be sitting a table with stack and stacks of money all around begging to be won, lots of big pots, and absolutely no ability to get any of it.

I killed some time last night on Full Tilt playing pot limit omaha. As I folded crap hand after crap hand, the money in play just got bigger and bigger, to the point where two thirds of the table had at least twice the max buyin in play. A couple players were pushing 4x. Every hand was raised preflop and the pots were juicier than fruit.

Fold, fold, fold. Why not mix it up? I'll tell you why not: Q732 four suited and a table full of loose aggressive players don't mesh too well, unless you just hate money.

So frustrating.

I kept waiting and waiting for something playable. I would have taken a hand with a dangler if only I'd had *three* cards that worked together and some kind of reasonable position. I would have played low connectors out of position. Something. Anything. Anything but those horrible unsuited disconnectors!

It was not to be.

After a few hours the money left and the table refilled with normal sized stacks. Once that happened, the Full Tilt RNG decided to switch things up by giving me a string of solid starting hands that completely airmailed the board. It's almost as if there's someone pulling the levers, making sure the board is low connected red cards when I have black paint. Once that happens you should - and you can take this advice to the bank - quit playing.


Friday, January 23, 2009

I Has A Question

Someone explain this to me. Please.

$1/$2 PLO 6 max. 5 players.
(All "dollar" amounts are in play chips as usual)

UTG ($11) limps with Ks 3d Js 2d
I ($51.60) raise pot to $9 with Ac As Jd 4c (meh but this is 5 max)
Button ($252.55) folds
SB ($48) who just sat down calls $8 with Ad Qh 7s 6h
BB Full Tilt Enormous Donkey Red Pro raises all in for $22.05 with 8s 8d 7d 7h
UTG calls all in for $9

I re-raise all in. The pot is now $90.05.

SB has $39 behind to call. All of that is at risk against me, who raised initially and just FOUR BET ALL IN.

My question is this: WHO %^&*Iing CALLS THERE WITH Ad Qh 7s 6h?

Do you think your potential third nut heart flush draw might be good? That you might pair your ace against THREE other players, one of whom just four bet, and THAT might be good? You might make a straight with your 76? You might be the only one with AQ and could make broadway?

Help me, please. I don't get it.

And no, this post isn't about the Full Tilt RNG being out of lube this evening. That's not it at all. I just want someone, anyone, to tell me why you call with that ... that ... that GARBAGE.

UTG is a retard too, but I'll excuse that as a stupid short stack play. The Red Pro, unlike their usual form, actually made a solid decision and had pretty decent equity. The SB, as near as I can figure, just emerged from the primordial ooze.

I just don't understand idiots. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I suck at poker.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

It Is

Pot Limit Omaha is the devil's game.

I played a bunch of PLO this weekend, not having any desire to do anything, you know, productive.

Saturday night was good. Up 3 or 4 buyins.

This afternoon, not so much. Down those same 3 or 4 buyins. And I didn't even donate any of it to the terror of the PLO tables, Bayne.

I think I ended up net plus four imaginary dollars or something.

I even got to play above my "roll" for a while, stalking the biggest DONKEY amongst the Full Tilt red pros. Alas, said donkey was stacked but not by me. And no, it's not Jim McManus.

Tilt control was good today. I received ****ty cards. It took two hours (playing 4-5 tables) to see my first AAxx. One buyin lost was the result of disbelieving that a new player could have AAxx for the second time in three hands since sitting. He did, and my KKxx was no match. Another buyin vanished when a subsequent AAxx ss went down to something like 8754 ds. And 8754 three bet to isolate (which partly failed btw)! A brilliant move. (edit: actually, now that I think about it, Mr 8754 four bet. I limp-reraised from early position.)

It's a stupid game and I'm not very good at it.

Otherwise, I intended to donk off my $109 Stars ticket, but decided to pass. I'll probably get to that some time this week.

Poker sucks.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Off Tilt

I think I'm finally off tilt. That last session sent me over the edge. It ended in a crescendo of simultaneous soul-crushing beats. Poker sucks. I needed a few days off. I didn't even burn my Stars tickets over the holiday weekend like I'd planned. Total poker abstinence.

And I'm back.

I've been wasting a lot of time reading the forums lately. With the new year, there's plenty of chat about people wanting to make Supernova Elite status at Stars. 1,000,000 VPPs to get there. Especially entertaining are the guys that play 1/2 limit and are trying to get there. That's right, 1/2 limit.

Just for kicks, I played an imaginary hour of 1/2 limit. I got in 72 imaginary hands and won a purely hypothetical $5.75 against a bunch of nits. During that time I earned 16 VPPs, or 0.222 VPPs per hand.

At that VPP earn rate, I would need to play 4.5 million hands to get SNE status. One tabling, at 72 hands per hour, that would take 62,500 hours - 2,604 days. Just a bit outside the December 31 cutoff. As for the grinders, they play 24 tables. At that VPP earn rate, they could make it (barely) by averaging 50 hours per week. Wow. And I think my life sucks sometimes...

Real content to come. Some day.

Monday, December 29, 2008

The Sixteenth Day of Christmas

The holidays go on. I picked up some nice gifts from the folks at Fantasy Sports Live and extra cash by winning my fantasy football league. No more about that here, I'm trying really hard to keep that stuff contained to my FSL blog. Let's just say that I'll be sad when football season ends and I have to go back to playing (ugh) poker.


Not everybody had such a swell Christmas. Stop over to VinNay's blog and read about a good friend of his who had his house burn down. A relief effort is underway and if you're so inclined, click through and ship a couple bucks to help out.


I played a bunch of PLO over the weekend, inspired by FTP's triple points promotion. After doing so, I'm not sure why I bothered. It's the same old thing - if I have a draw it doesn't get there and every damned time I have the nut flush or straight someone ships their chips in behind on fourth street and boats up in the end. Every time. It's just ridiculous.

Stupid poker.

Anyway, with the new year coming up and exactly zero desire to go out - what's that term, amateur night? - I will probably stay home. If I stay home, I will probably fritter away the tournament ticket and Step 3 ticket I acquired in the Stars Blogger Championship. That should be good for at least twenty minutes of entertainment before I do something dumb.

I also had a cartoon idea for the first time in a while, so I'll be firing up MSPaint. Poker and bad doodles, two great ways to waste boatloads of time!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

[Mostly O/T] Mulligan Needed

No poker content, haven't played. It's getting close to poker season, though, as the string of absolutely perfect days here ended yesterday.

I take that back, here is some poker content: I'm hearing zero buzz about the "November Nine". Not one person that I've talked poker with gave a rip.

Also, Bill Rini has another excellent post up on online poker rigging. Read Bill, he knows what he's talking about.

End of poker content.

So I'm filling my spare time with other stuff. Bad golf and fantasy football for the most part. My regulation team finally pulled out a win, so I'm 1-3. It's still the worst team ever assembled.

I continue to focus on ways to build my roll over at Fantasy Sports Live (obligatory plug for bonus code BONDS for the best signup deposit bonus). I finished 2nd in the blogger battle to move up to first overall and won a heads up match. Both good things, but I really laid an egg with my entry in Sundays w/ Dr. Pauly - I absentmindedly picked the wrong QB. If I'd just gone with the guy I'd picked to blow up for the week (Brees) instead of last week's pick (Cutler), I'm in the TOC. Oops. At least I got the pick right on my other two contests.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. There are lots of weeks left in the season to try and beat Dr. Pauly three in a row. I'm going to keep trying. You in? If you're not in the game, you're missing out on (a) fun and (b) free money. Seriously. Lots of cash added. FSL >>>> poker.

Friday, September 05, 2008

It's A Handy Memo Tool

Note to self:

1. Register to play the Blogger Battle and Sundays w/ Dr. Pauly over at Fantasy Sports Live
2. Win.
3. ???
4. Profit.

In the event of fantasy football fail, load up some spare funds in PayPal. Isn't it nice to be able to fund and reload an account with PayPal or a credit card without ANY hassles? Self say yes. Self also say playing daily fantasy football with friends is fun.

Man I love fall. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. (bonus code BONDS duh)

Monday, August 18, 2008


I have a theory. I doubt that it's new, but I'm too lazy to do a search. The theory is that each person is allotted "X" amount of luck over the course of his or her lifetime. The kicker is that the luck isn't evenly distributed - some people are a little lucky on a regular basis, while others are super lucky on super rare occasions and get kicked in the balls the rest of the time.

I'm sure hoping that I get super lucky at some point.

Poker was played. It was not successful. I should have known that it was going to be a rough night at the charity room when I received AA ... and had it cracked by A6o. Yep. Dude called a sizable preflop raise with no special position (I was UTG+1, he was in MP) and ace six unsuited.

I rebought for the max and just bled. I didn't hit a single draw. No sets. Pretty much every hand I played brought the opposite on the board. The one hand where I actually improved - woo two pair woo - I doubled up a shorty who rivered a straight flush. It took four hours and fifteen minutes before I won a single pot.

Needless to say, it was the worst night I've had in a while even with a late comeback.

On Saturday, I had a little spare time, so I took a shot at one of those beginner SnGs on Bodog that Smokkee is always going on about. The stupid thing took forever. As the 2nd shortest stack, I finally knocked out the shorty on the bubble, which moved me comfortably above the new short stack in chips. Right away - I think it was the next hand - I get hosed of course when the short stack shoves AJo into my AQs and he turns a jack. Stellar. Tilt.

I wasn't much more successful on the golf course. In good shape after a 78 on Saturday, I couldn't do much of anything right yesterday and ended up fifth, ten or twelve shots back.

Probably not much play coming up this week for me. You have the usual slew of blogger games to choose from and maybe I'll jump in to one of them, but probably not. Poker sucks.