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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Bonus Baby

I opened up my email this evening and found that I had one from Full Tilt offering me the largest bonus I've ever been given. I mean, I usually see 25 or 50. This time: Five hundo.

My initial reaction was "huh?"

Second reaction was ... "um, WTF?"

Upon further reflection I do kinda wonder if the sites are experiencing/anticipating an outflow of cash with the June 1 UIGEA implementation date. Offering bonuses is certainly one way to keep people playing.

I mean it's not possible that the bonus was triggered by me coming back for one day after taking a couple months off due to the doomswitch, right?



As for the bonus itself, I'm undecided as to what to do about it. I have 30 days to clear it from the day I opt in. I would need to average around 300 points per day.

To accumulate that kind of pointage in a reasonable amount of time each day, that means playing Rush 100.

I am not rolled for Rush 100. I am not close to adequately rolled for Rush 100.

I could play longer and play mostly Rush 50.

Honestly, I'm not even rolled to handle any kind of downswing at Rush 50.


The points come very slowly at Rush 25.

I see shot taking coming up.

Depositing is not an option. The funds are not available.

If I traded out everything I could find elsewhere online I'd still be pretty under rolled for Rush 100.

I guess I'll think about it and wait a day or two before opting in. I think I could devote the time to clearing it - even though I shouldn't - and unless I come up with a better idea I'll probably just clear as much as I can playing conservatively.

Now that I think about it, if I play in June, I can probably tack on a pretty good size Iron Man bonus for playing so much Jan-Mar.


So if I play, who will show up: Will it be the player who tripled his roll playing the cash games or the player who pissed away all those gains plus some once the doomswitch kicked in?

Expect future prayers whining in this space about why can't I just be a break-even player. Break-even over the next two months would be all sorts of win.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

A Winner Is You!

Yeah all you people playing for WSOP seats and stuff can just suck it.

I actually fired up Full Tilt tonight for the first time in a while. Probably the first time since the implosion that I did so with the intent of playing. And play I did. I won almost half a stack playing Rush and then played a 135 player Rush SnG. Min-cashed in 14th for like a 50% ROI.

That's right, WINNER.


By the way, if you're not up to date on your Goat, you fail.


Monday, May 24, 2010

Almost WSOP Time

... and for the however-many-there-have-been-th year in a row I won't be there. Actually that's not entirely correct -- I did go to one of the early summer WPBT gatherings I just didn't bother to make my way over to the WSOP.

I always expect that I'll be completely uninspired by the WSOP. I haven't watched any poker on TV in about four years. I know I'll almost certainly never play in an event. It will probably be many years before I return to Las Vegas. I can identify fewer and fewer of the relevant personalities. There just aren't reasons to care.

And yet I always end up following the action. I guess that's in large part a testimony to the abilities of the various folks who migrate to the desert every year to provide online coverage. That plus the occasional run by a blogger deep into the money.

So to those who write - and boy are there a lot of y'all - good luck and thanks. To those who are playing, good luck and JFC WHY AM I CLICKING REFRESH EVERY TWO MINUTES er, I mean gogogogogo.


No content otherwise. I haven't played a single hand since the end of SCOOP. I did load up Full Tilt yesterday thinking I would check and see who was doing well in the BBT5 invitational but I ended up just shutting down after I updated the software.

I don't know if this week is part of the BBT5 or not. Even if it is, I'm sure I won't be playing which means I'll have an big fat zero next to my name for total events entered.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Humpin A Minimum Wage McJob

My SCOOP has come to an end.


5 1/2 hours of Event 36-L (HORSE) resulted in a 341st place finish out of 3800some, good for thirty six dollars and change in imaginary cash. Good thing it was on a freeroll - a fourteen dollar "win" would have really kinda sucked.

Also: Good lord I am terrible at limit holdem.

Thanks for the "fun" Pokerstars. (It's not you, it's the nature of the game).

Friday, May 14, 2010

I Should Just Submit Everything to Failblog

Played SCOOP 30-M (PLO/8) as planned. Had a decent first hour. Missed the entire second hour as I left work, went home, found I had no internet, turned around, got dinner and went back to work. Amazingly - thanks PLO/8 - I only lost a couple hundred chips to blinds.

The third and fourth hour went badly. I played very few hands but should have played even fewer. Really it wasn't memorable at all other than for the fact that I folded junk hand after hand. I know you have to do more than play your own hand, but when you keep getting Q722 and you have two heavy raisers on your right you fold and fold and fold some more.

I made one fairly stupid play that cost a decent part of my stack. Holding A4xx I got a free card following a A94 flop. Turn was a 2 iirc, checked around, river another ace. Called a bet thinking chop only to find someone holding A94x. Sigh.

So I busted in the middle of hour four, taking a stand (when you have almost no chips can you really call it that?) with a pretty crappy hand that whiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffed completely.


Not good at poker.

So I have one chance left, most likely Saturday's HORSE low event. I'd play tonight's NLO8 pushmonkey fiesta but I don't think I'll be home. Besides, there is no freaking way I run good enough to cash in unlimited four card split bingo.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Semi Live Blogging SCOOP Event 22-L

Here we go. 4-max NLHE. This should be interesting, I don't think I've ever played 4 max.

17:10 - I open at a table with a pig, a Spongebob and an anonymous Russian. So far I've taken about 1,000 chips mostly off the Russian.

17:12 - Spongebob has just observed "it's gonna be one fun tourney". Yeah budday.

17:16 - Already I've had AA and QQ. The aces got me some chips, the hos got me the blinds.

17:20 - If there was ever a tournament to turn on auto-muck, this would be it. Also: I should be paying more attention to the game and less to this.

17:24 - Anonymous Russian goes down when his trip 2s fall to a 6 high straight. K2s vs 54s. Wheeeeeeee. I folded the other 2. Ivan replaced by an anonymous American. I'd like to kick these people with no avatars in the nuts. Also: Spongebob is from France I think and has the makings of a table captain. It could get ugly if he wins a few hands.

17:35 - Back down to my starting stack after a couple marginal plays. I laid down a rivered straight to a decent sized bet on a 4 flushed board. Sigh. This game doesn't really suit my non-aggression.

17:38 - I think Spongebob is complaining that people are playing too tight but I'm not familiar with his terminology. WE ARE NOT SNUG **** YOU VERY MUCH.

17:39 - First all in preflop is ... AK vs AK. How VERY surprising.

17:45 - Okay, so that bluff didn't work. Duh. You can never push anybody off ace rag on an ace high board dummy. Down to T4700. I think Spongebob is getting impatient. He's betting odd amounts and talking to himself in chat. Of course just as I type this he wins a pot.

17:51 - KK and AKo on back to back hands gets me the blinds and a walk. CAN'T YOU FEEL THE ACTION OF 4 MAX WOOO !!!!11!

17:55 - Break time. T4325 after A8s loses to AJo for a small pot. Looks like about 6,700 entrants and a $200,000 prize pool. 1200 places pay and there are about 4,700 players left.

18:05 - Finally some action. I three-bet with AQ and get two callers. Ace on the flop and a bet takes it down. Back above the starting stack but not by much.

18:10 - Somewhere around here someone FINALLY responds to Spongebob in chat.

18:11 - Oops. AQo goes down to a super passively played AKo. I mean I got check called all the way. Down to T3700.

18:19 - Standard setup. River J gives me TPTK while missing my frush draw. It also gives Pig a one card straight. Rrrrr. Down to T2700. And I have to leave the office soon so I'll probably get blinded out while I make the trip home and fire up the computer. Okay probably not but it'll still be annoying.

19:07 - Okay, usual standard crap. I won a couple hands, got back over T6000. Then work interfered, played like a tard for a few hands, my AJ doubled a shorty who hit with A6o, then I had to go home, blah blah blah. Got home just as the break ended, had T1900 left. Stellar.

And I'm out, A9s
goes down to K8s when he flops trip 8s. 2670/6695.


I think I'll spend the evening pondering why I can't ever play without life stressing me out so much.

Edit: Decided to play a turbo satellite into tonight's SCOOP event. Build up a little stack but not enough to be comfortable. Boom, neighbor comes over. Ten minutes later I return to less than T1000. Why do I even ****ing bother?

Re-Edit: Huh, lucksacked my way back into it in the satellite and got a seat into the SCOOP event. That, however, did not go so well. Stupid rebuys.

Friday, May 07, 2010

I Blame Whoever Invented the Datebook

Logged on to Stars last night since I didn't feel like doing much of anything. I was kind of hoping that there would be a SCOOP event at 20:00, but no dice. I settled for a micro limit 180 man sit n go.

I don't know if it's having played a bunch of Rush Poker or my undiagnosed ADD or what but I eventually remembered the main reason I don't play many tournaments - I just don't have enough patience. I hung around, folded a bunch, picked up a few chips here and there and then donkeyed my way out in the 70s trying to get a guy to fold TPNK. That's never going to work. Absolutely no reason I had to bust there, but there was a definite moment of awwfukkit-itis.

Yeah, I should be deadly when I get around to playing some SCOOP events.

Anyhow, since I had this vague feeling of discomfort that the SCOOP is passing me by - I mean it's been a week and I haven't played in any of the events - I took a minute this morning to try and figure out which events I'm going to play.

It's not pretty.

Basically I'm kind of screwed by not being able to play on Sundays and (to a lesser extent) most of Tuesday. Here are my options (thanks to Short Stacked Shamus for the nicely formatted schedule btw):

$22 Events:

Saturday, May 8, 14:00
Event No. 16: No-Limit Hold’em Shootout (10-max.)
Low -- $22 buy-in (quadruple shootout, i.e., max. 10,000 players), $150,000 guaranteed


Saturday, May 8, 20:00
Event No. 18: Limit Hold’em (turbo)
Low -- $22 buy-in, $25,000 guaranteed


Friday, May 14, 20:00
Event No. 33: No-Limit Omaha/8 (turbo)
Low -- $22 buy-in, $50,000 guaranteed


Saturday, May 15, 17:00
Event No. 36: H.O.R.S.E.
Low -- $22 buy-in, $50,000 guaranteed

$33 Events

Monday, May 10, 17:00
Event No. 22: No-Limit Hold’em (4-max.)
Low -- $33 buy-in, $150,000 guaranteed


Thursday, May 13, 14:00
Event No. 29: 8-Game Mix
Low -- $33 buy-in, $75,000 guaranteed

$109 Events

Tuesday, May 11, 14:00
Event No. 24: Triple Draw Deuce-to-Seven
Medium -- $109 buy-in, $50,000 guaranteed

Tuesday, May 11, 20:00
Event No. 26: No-Limit Hold’em
Medium -- $109 buy-in, $200,000 guaranteed

Thursday, May 13, 17:00
Event No. 30: Pot-Limit Omaha/8
Medium -- $109 buy-in, $150,000 guaranteed

I've already tossed out the rebuys (not going to happen) and some of the daytime tourneys that I know I can't possibly make.

Being realistic about things, I probably can't do any of the remaining daytime (14:00) events, I would probably miss the first couple levels of the 20:00 Tuesday tournament (but that still might be better than playing PLO/8) and I think I'd rather be beaten with a blunt object than play a limit holdem tournament.

So it appears that the best option is to play:

Saturday, May 15, 17:00
Event No. 36: H.O.R.S.E.
Low -- $22 buy-in, $50,000 guaranteed

Monday, May 10, 17:00
Event No. 22: No-Limit Hold’em (4-max.)
Low -- $33 buy-in, $150,000 guaranteed

Thursday, May 13, 17:00
Event No. 30: Pot-Limit Omaha/8
Medium -- $109 buy-in, $150,000 guaranteed

I think I'm gonna go throw up.