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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Despair

Well, there was good news and there was bad news.

I rebooted my computer after making changes. It did boot much faster - 12 minutes from power button to FTP table launch. The downside, however, was that I could not access the internet. Full Tilt worked fine as did a torrent client. But neither Firefox nor IE would load a page (nor for that matter would the now playing page in Media Player). Sigh.

This of course meant that I played poker instead of surfing the web.

Why couldn't it have been the other way around?

***

A new worst session ever was established this evening.

It started off on an absolutely brutal note. On one table I ran into an absolute buzzsaw.

8:27 - I river a straight on a 54436 board, run into a full house. Okay. Well disguised.
8:30 - 3 hands later I river a full house on a flush board and jam. Same guy has the quads.
8:51 - I flop an OESD, don't get there, run into top two pair. Same guy.
8:56 - I have AKs. Same villain has AA.
9:18 - Same villain rivers trips to beat my top pair.
9:25 - I abandon ship on pocket 8s after the flop. Same villain shows AA. Again.

One opponent, one table.

After that run I was kind of disgusted. Not so bad, right? Well, the worst was yet to come.

I proceeded to lose every single hand I got my money in good. AA checkraised all in by KQ on a Q high flop? Here's a K on the turn for you! Need a runner runner four flush? Sure why not. Hey that was fun let's do it a couple more times. Every single time. No exceptions.

I also lost every single flip. At least there weren't as many of those - for whatever reason the shortstackers left me alone more than usual. But I still went 0 for whatever it was. No exceptions.

The last of the beats - I flop a straight with T9dd on a Qx Jd 8y board. There's a bet, a raise and I F***ING JAM. I get called by Q8dd who goes runner runner diamonds to pip my flush by one. Je&&S F&&&ING CHRIST. I am reminded that flopped straights never win.

I quit. I am filled with deep despair. For the last few beats all I could do was jam it in and wait for the axe to fall on the river. Nothing holds up. Nothing. Ever. This is an all time poker low. I am drained of all anger, all rage, all feeling. I'm just numb. This is horrible.

Misery. 100% pure misery.

***

I think I'm done at Full Tilt for the month. Going to take some time off, play the WBCOOP events at Stars and otherwise give poker the finger. If I get bored and start jonesing maybe I can talk myself into spending the time figuring out exactly how far below EV I've been running lately instead.

If and when I do come back I really do need to move down a few levels. I'm still up over the last six weeks but I've dumped well over 50% back and it wasn't like I was rolled for this level to begin with. My play chip bankroll just can't handle the swings.

Poker sucks.

***

Anyhow, it appears that my computer has a case of ZoneAlarm poisoning.

I used to use the ZoneAlarm firewall. I have never been able to uninstall it, so I wait for it to boot up and then shut it down. Annoying.

One of the things I tried disabling on startup was ZoneAlarm. And boom the internet doesn't work when I do it. I remember trying to kill it this way before and having the same problem. So after the poker debacle I launched the ZA client application and then killed it. Voila, the internet works again.

I guess I can deal with the extra startup time for now but one of these days I'm going to get myself some virtual Raid and take care of the problem.

It might be sooner rather than later since it looks like I'm going to have a bunch of unexpected time on my hands this week.

1 comment:

L4Y SP said...

al. u hv my sympathy