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Thursday, December 27, 2007

Traffic Court

I know I've mentioned it before, but I'll admit it again - I am somewhat obsessive-compulsive. I've never been to a shrink, but anyone with even the slightest bit of observational skill could see that when I'm into something I'm REALLY into it.

Lately, I've been slightly obsessed with internet tracking tools. I've been using Google Analytics and another free site counter to get a laugh out of how people stumble across this blog gain insight into who reads this drivel.

This site isn't CNN or Perez Hilton or Guinness and Poker or anything, but I manage to get enough hits to keep things interesting. And for me to mention a couple of things. I promise that I won't get into some of the freakier word searches that send people this way.

***

A few months ago, I wrote an off-the-cuff diatribe about Martindale Hubbell.

Synopsis: Martindale Hubbell - owned by LexisNexis - publishes a listing of attorneys and also conducts a peer rating survey. I received a rating this year. For some reason, MH felt the need to send along an invoice for an "administration fee" of $50.00 in order for the rating to be published. I didn't ask for the rating. I don't benefit from the rating - in at least one way it's decidedly NOT beneficial. And I sure as heck don't think I should pay $50.00 to be listed in a publication (and on a web site) that makes MH a great deal of money. I basically told 'em to suck it.

It turns out that I'm not the only one who was ticked off about the billing. A lawyer in the Pacific Northwest who has a very active - and on topic - blog posted about the same thing and happened to link my post.

But that's not the interesting part.

One of the things that Google Analytics tracks is where your traffic is coming from. During the month of December, at least, one of the top five internet service providers sending traffic my way is … the LexisNexis corporate network!

Hah!

So if you're visiting from LexisNexis World HQ, in the spirit of the season, let me say the following: Welcome! I don't hate you!*

* (At least not personally. Unless you're the person - or part of a committee - that made the decision to start sending bills for unsolicited services - in which case the best I can do is to grit my teeth and reserve judgment. While I'm at it, I should mention that in the New Year I'll be encouraging our firm to sever any lingering relationship we may have with your company. It's nothing personal, just business, and your competitors haven't done anything that really ticked me off lately.)

Happy holidays, turkeys.

***

Back to the analysis. You know, I've never really understood how search engines rank their results. I'm sure that you know from experience that you can get some really random linkage when you plug in a query.

For some reason, Google has me ranked #1 in a search for "promise me son not to do the things I've done" - which as you know is a lyric from the hackneyed Kenny Rogers 'classic' The Gambler. I used that as a title for a crummy post way back in September 2005 bemoaning my inability to, um, walk away from the poker table when I should.

I mention this only because that search - "promise me son not to do the things I've done" or variations thereof - has consistently been THE most common search in Google or Yahoo that sends people to this blog. Not "poker". Not "poker sucks". Not "full tilt is rigged" - although that one's pretty common - nope, it's a Kenny Rogers lyric.

I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not.

I'm leaning toward not. Many of the searches for Kenny I get are from overseas. The Philippines and Denmark are particular hot spots.

I think that I don't ever want to be stuck in either place with only an AM radio for company.

Anyway, as a public service to my readers from overseas - here is a link to are what I believe are the complete lyrics (Tagalog and Danish translations regrettably not available).

Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

StB said...

I think I have the next title of my next post. Let's see what that does to the analytics.