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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Real Donkeys

I hope you don't read the previous post the wrong way. I'm not calling Fuel55 a donkey (or any other name). We're cool. The point is that you can look at that hand from either perspective and understand why it was played the way it was. I'm pretty sure that neither of us played it optimally.

Now, if you want proof that I really am a donkey, here you go:

Early rounds of the DADI. Presdlee raises pot in middle position, folds around to me in the big blind. I have 97o. Because it is my personal favorite hand -- isn't that the best possible reason? -- I call.

(Those sirens going off in the background are just a test of the emergency donkey alert system. Really. It's just a test.)

Flop is K86 with two clubs. I'm not sure about the K, I am sure about the other cards. I check, the Prez leads weakly (less than the pot) at it, and I call. Neither of my cards is a club.

(I sure wish they'd shut off those sirens. I'm getting a headache already.)

The turn is the 5c. I check, the Prez leads again, this time with more authority. I smell something fishy and call with my straight.

(Hey, now we have flashing red lights too. This IS just a test, right?)

The river is a meaningless brick -- an offsuit 2, I believe. We each have a couple hundred chips left.

Check. Check.

(Huh, now there is an audible "hee-haw" sound that's overriding the sirens)

9-high straight is good.


To his credit, the Prez comes roaring back and goes on to finish 2nd. I leave cashless and have to get up to go to work in the morning.

Hee. Haw.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Who's Your Donkey?

One of the things I enjoy about playing blogger events is the banter. That includes being called a donkey (or worse) from time to time. Now that I have my donkey card for the next year and a half -- thanks, Chilly! -- here's one for you:

In the DADI last night, I got mixed up in a hand with Fuel55, who I don't remember playing with previously.

Here's his version of the hand:

A8s in position - A34 rainbow flop, on_thg puts in a continuation bet and I put him all in. vs on_thg calls with A9. Horrible call and he knows it, but enough to win the hand.

Here's the actual hand history -- I'm deliberately forgoing using a hand converter:

PokerStars Game #5094934690: Tournament #24856362, $10+$1 Hold'em Pot
Limit - Level IV (50/100) - 2006/05/29 - 22:58:07 (ET)
Table '24856362 3' 9-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: on_thg (1765 in chips)
Seat 2: dnasty13 (2770 in chips)
Seat 3: smokkee (1725 in chips)
Seat 4: Fuel55 (2865 in chips)
Seat 5: mookie99 (3405 in chips)
Seat 6: Bloody P (2240 in chips)
Seat 8: sportingimag (1075 in chips)
Seat 9: Garthmeister (2490 in chips)
Bloody P: posts small blind 50
sportingimag: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to on_thg [Ah 9h]
Garthmeister: folds
on_thg: raises 250 to 350
dnasty13: folds
smokkee: folds
Bloody P said, "i had to change my underpants"
Fuel55: calls 350
mookie99: folds
Bloody P: folds
sportingimag: folds
*** FLOP *** [3c Ac 4d]
Bloody P said, "that's about all you missed"
CaptureMan [observer] said, "I got $9.80 in my account id like to
play a $10+1 tourny can anyone lend me the $1.20 till i get payed on
friday? Dead seirous"
on_thg: bets 700
Fuel55: raises 700 to 1400
sportingimag said, "u suckout or almost get sucked out on"
Bloody P said, "i can loan you the .20"
Bloody P said, "oh wait, no i can't"
on_thg: raises 15 to 1415 and is all-in
Fuel55: calls 15
Fuel55 said, "nice call donkey"
*** TURN *** [3c Ac 4d] [5d]
Garthmeister said, "Wowsers"
*** RIVER *** [3c Ac 4d 5d] [Th]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
on_thg: shows [Ah 9h] (a pair of Aces)
Fuel55: shows [8s As] (a pair of Aces - lower kicker)
sportingimag said, "why the name calling"
on_thg collected 3680 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3680 | Rake 0
Board [3c Ac 4d 5d Th]
Seat 1: on_thg showed [Ah 9h] and won (3680) with a pair of Aces
Seat 2: dnasty13 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: smokkee folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Fuel55 showed [8s As] and lost with a pair of Aces
Seat 5: mookie99 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Bloody P (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: sportingimag (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 9: Garthmeister folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Now answer me this: Who's the bigger donkey?

Edit 5/31/06:

By the way, that's a rhetorical question. Here's a revised description of the action from Fuel55 (hope it's okay that I post this):

A8s in position - A34 rainbow flop, on_thg puts in a continuation bet (or least that is what I believe given that he bets most flops from what I have observed) and I put him all in given that he could have any pair from KK down to 55 or a whack of other hands that my A8 is ahead of. on_thg calls with A9. Over the long term this is a -EV call. I called it a horrible call at the time (but, as CJ has pointed out, the correct call this time) and he has enough to win the hand.

Poker. What a game.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Picture, 1k Words

The evening in a nutshell:

Sigh. Third best. And yes, the money all went in pre-flop.

This is about three hands after I lose most of my stack after flopping a flush with J3s in the BB and pushing -- KsQx calls and catches on the river.

Also about five minutes after busting out of the DADI with QQ vs 99, then 88 vs AQo.

I believe the kids call this "STANDARD".

Just another night at the tables.

{ps: If you don't whine about a bad beat every once in a while, you get your donkey card revoked}

Donkeys Always Checkraise All In

[T]he worst play you can ever make is to bluff at a bad player.
Bad players will not lay down a hand, even in a tournament.
They don't know any better.
-- T.J. Cloutier, as quoted in 'Positively Fifth Street' by James McManus

Allow me to add a supplement:

In low buyin tournaments online, they are ALL bad players.


I decided to use a token yesterday to play a Full Tilt bracelet race tournament while also taking a shot at the Pokerstars $208,000 WSOP freeroll. Seventy-four runners, one place paid.

We're down to thirteen players, and I'm starting to get short. Two orbits ago, I had an average stack. One steal attempt folded to a resteal push, followed by thirteen or fourteen consecutive folds. The random number generator is taunting me, dealing a succession of J2o, 54o, 43o and twice the dreaded 32o.

Down to under 1,500 with 120/240/25 blinds (and an M of 3), I find A5o one off the button. Junk, yes, but I can hardly afford to wait -- we're seven handed and the blinds will be on me again in a flash. I push.

As seems to be the standard, I have the tournament big stack on my left. He calls, for about 1/18th of his chips. The small blind folds.

The big blind has 6,500 chips behind, and would need to call just over a thousand more. He doesn't. He RAISES all in.


That's what the big stack must be thinking, as he folds to get out of the way.

The big blind has a pair of 8s.

I lose the race, which is not a surprise since I'm a sizable underdog, and finish 13th. What is a surprise is the move of the BB. If you have an M of 15 or better, do you really want to run the risk of tangling with the big stack with 8s?

The fact that the big stack called my all in gives absolutely no information about his hand. He could have aces, he could have 75o. If you're Mr. 8s, you're a huge underdog (of course) to 99 through AA, and you're gambling if you're against overcards. I'm no expert, but that reraise strikes me as extremely ill-advised.

By the way, he went on to finish third for the exact same payday -- nothing.


I have two more additions to Mr. Cloutier's observation for you, which I'll offer up using my best guess at Texas road gambler vernacular:

In online tournaments, table image don't mean shit.


Continuation bets don't work for shit.

You can just think about those. But you know they're true.


Otherwise, I need to make a few adjustments in my tournament game. I find myself far too often with a below average stack, bordering on (or living in) pushville. When I get a cold run of non-playable, non-stealable hands, I'm down to the felt far too quickly.

I need to find some additional situations where I might have an edge and push them.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Saturday, May 27, 2006


I think I've finally figured out the problem. Too late to contribute to Russ Fox's book Why You Lose at Poker, but a breakthrough nonetheless.

Because these images are hosted by Blogger, you'll have to click for a larger (i.e. legible) version.

{idea blatantly stolen from a 2+2 poster, and YES IT'S STILL SAFE to play. Much love to Full Tilt and Pokerstars}

Cleanup, Aisle Five

I spent a few minutes this evening trying to do a long-overdue cleanup of the blogroll on the right. Someday I may even get ambitious enough to organize the list. For now, I'm sure that I'm still missing a few dozen regular reads -- if you're not on there, how about leaving a comment?


Should have purchased a lotto ticket yesterday. Not only did I get two Full Tilt tokens in three attempts, my lawn mower started on the first pull for the FIRST TIME EVER.

I haven't been that excited about something trivial since I discovered that Entemann's makes coconut mini donuts.

Am I kidding? Maybe, maybe not.

Time for a little poker.

Friday, May 26, 2006


Found this old doodle while cleaning up the basement. Thought I'd bring it up to date a bit. Sure beats doing something fresh -- yep, I'm lazy. And bored. Bring on the holiday weekend already!

{image hosted by blogger, click for larger version}

Thursday, May 25, 2006


I didn't feel like doing anything last night, so I decided to do less than nothing. For the first time ever, I found myself watching 'American Idol'. Me and twenty-eight million teenage girls.

I'm not kidding when I say I've never seen it before. I caught one performance on someone else's TiVo, and I used the power of teh intranet to view a couple songs in the last week or so (thanks to CJ's relentless pimiping of Katherine), but that's it.

Here are the actual comments of someone who's never been exposed to Idol fever. Call it non-live live blogging.

8:10 pm ... Okay, I missed the opening. But i'm in time for Meat Loaf and Kat. Loaf looks like hell. McPhee looks like heaven.

Hmmm. Maybe Chris indeed got the shaft. He's not bad.

I think I'm happy that Pickler didn't win. I know that she's spoofing herself, but this is painful.

8:45 pm ... Who's the kid who looks like Doogie Howser, and how did he ever make it past the audition stage?

Okaaay, Elliott and Mary J. Blige. The odd couple for the next generation! Give 'em a show - they'd make Flavor Flav and Bridgette Neilsen look like Ward and June Cleaver. She'd probably beat the crap out of him by Week 2.

This Taylor guy will always have a future as a Jay Leno impersonator. One way or another, he'll be doing two shows nightly at the Plaza in Las Vegas by 2008.

Chick power medley! Woooooo! (Actually, that was not said). The larger African-American woman, whatever her name is, can actually sing. Maybe it was she who got the shaft.

9:15 pm ... "This is just goofy" uttered for the first time. I have a feeling it won't be the last, especially since we have another Doogie Howser lookalike making an appearance.

Wow, that Vince Vaughn - Jennifer Aniston movie looks excruciating. This show really needs more commercials, too.

Hey, it's Burt Bacharach! He's not dead!

Amazing what a great song can do for a mediocre performer. Even if that song is a hoary old chestnut like "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head".

9:35 pm ... Whoa, "Little Man" looks like it'll be even worse than the Jennivaughn flick.

What do you know, 'Everybody Loves Raymond' is moving to Fox this fall. Why are they changing the name to 'Till Death'?

I can't say that I'm really impressed by anything that Taylor's doing here. He's not bad, he's just not great.

Or maybe I'm too busy watching Katherine to notice.

9:55 pm ... We have a winner. Oh.

There was something missing during the ending -- it needed Randy Jackson saying 'you the man now dawg!'. Really.

That's possibly the last time I'll ever watch AI. It wasn't bad -- in fact it was fairly entertaining. I just think I'll be way too busy in the future buying Fords and drinking Coca Cola to watch.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Night of The Living J-Rag

Home game last night, set up by BG's brother M to provide the Bluffing Genius with a little pocket money for his move away from this small pond. Ten players was the high water mark, down to four at the end. The game of choice was of course NL Holdem, small stakes cash gameplay money style. There were rumblings about some Pineapple or Omaha, but the refusal of one player pretty much shut those out.

Anyway, it was a frustrating evening. We were three hours in before I saw a pocket pair. When I get one, it's tens, ace and king on the flop, buh bye. I did receive AA shortly thereafter, which held up unimproved for a modest pot despite a paired board that also had three hearts.

Mostly, it was unplayable hand after unplayable hand. I had K5o no less than six times -- it's one of those hands like the hammer that gets played in this game, so I was keeping track. I had J6o five times in the first hour. Just that kind of night. Frustrating.

Still, with just a modest amount of luck, I would have found myself even instead of down a buyin:

{No, I'm not paying anyone a damned dollar, it's not that bad of a beat. Just don't read it}

I'm in the small blind with 86o. I'm bored and have loosened up my starting hand requirements ever so slightly to any two with a gap of four or less. It's folded to me and I just complete ($0.10/$0.20 monopoly money blinds).

The big blind is the host, an aggressive player who's not having a good night. He raises fifty cents. It's an easy call, since my opponent could easily have any two.

Flop is 7 - 9 - 10 with two diamonds. There is $1.40 in the pot.

I check, Host pushes all in for about $15.00. He has me covered, I have about $10.50 left.

It takes less than two nanoseconds for me to call, since there is no way he pushes with J8, and I really doubt that he's got a set, not that it'd stop me if he did. I was planning to checkraise all in if he bet at it.

Host flips KJo. I'm a 70/30 favorite. His jack is a diamond.

Turn Ad, river Kd.


That was the only action of any note for me, since I continued to get junk. Even when I made silly calls preflop (or raised J7s), I caught no piece. No pair, no draws other than maybe something backdoor. There were opportunities to double up -- by the end, the standard raise was absurdly large, and BG was amusing himself by playing hands blind and running over the table just by controlling the pot size.


I stayed up way too late Friday trying to hit one of the PokerStars 5 Billion Hands prizes, and spent some time at it again yesterday. I think the closest I came was one that was 71 hands away -- Facty was also present for that one. I missed the last few and the big one due to the home game.

Suggestion to Stars (and all other poker sites): Love the promotion, but why not have it mean something? I've read about syndicates being formed for the purpose of just cranking through hands, folding every hand to the BB. At least one of those groups (allegedly) even won.

Why would you want to reward this kind of behavior?

It's just another form of collusion.

If you this again in the future, why not slap a "played for real" requirement on the winning hand? Sure there are going to be hands folding around, but when it's hand after hand, that's a pretty obvious tipoff.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Just Another Friday Night

It's Friday and I'm bored. Time to live blog poker crap!

7:30 pm -- Time for a Peep SnG on Full Tilt. I'm seated with Kaelinn18 and Weak Player. We have Katitude on the rail.

7:40 pm -- Foldling like a Champ. I have plenty of spare time to read the Tao of Keno. Keno is so rigged.

7:46 pm -- Donk it up, raise 74s on the button. Whiffffffff.

7:54 pm -- Out. AKo UTG, sizable raise, called by TT (!). Flop has K and 2 hearts including a ten. One donkey push of just over the size of the pot and I'm gone. Wheeee! On a roll.

7:58 pm -- Okay, time for another Peep. I'm now 0 for my last 3. Filling time while waiting for the Stars 5 Kajillionth Hand to creep closer. I haven't come closer than about 400 hands so far. Alan from Geek and Proud and CJ the Luckbox are going on and on about baseball. Getting bored, might play some PLO.

8:07 pm -- Peep #2 just started. This one has Biggestron in it. Peep SnGs are like blogger crack. I need to figure out how to flip off the doom switch on Full Tilt.

8:22 pm -- Time for a beverage. I have some of Minnesota's finest vodka and only Coca Cola or grapefruit juice for mixers. Yes, my "bar" sucks. I'm going with the juice.

8:30 pm -- Just flopped quads in my peep and got almost all of the stack of the guy on my left, who raised every single time I was in a pot. Too bad.

8:31 pm -- Coming to realize that this post is sucking. Hopefully some booze and chat will liven it up, otherwise it will be abandoned shortly.

8:54 pm -- Yep, this is sucking, so I'm giving it up.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Sadly, I was not able to make a comeback.

I hate Limit O8 freerolls.

Asked and Answered

{Editor's note: If you find yourself interjecting "Objection! Retarded!" at any point during this post, you get a gold star and a free scholarship to the Rancho Carne School of Law and Animal Husbandry}

So TripJax posed a few questions to bloggers the other day. Here, boring as they may be, are my answers.

1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table?

I rarely play NL ring games -- unless clearing a bonus on Party Poker -- so take this with a metric ton of salt. The biggest mistake I see is overplaying TPTK or TPGK. The easiest way to double up at a microlimit NL table is catch a set with a pocket pair in late position and let the tard in EP bet his paired AK, AQ, KQ or 98o.

2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table?

Playing games above their bankroll and buying in short to do so. That, and calling instead of raising when there's a reason to raise.

3. Why do you play poker?

Because I can, I guess. It's fun, it's at least somewhat of a challenge mentally, there is an element of sociability. The fact that you can win a few bucks doesn't hurt, either.

4. If you weren't playing poker, what would you be doing?

Probably reading more and spending more time at the golf course, although it's hard to imagine that I could possibly do more of either one.

5. What is your favorite poker book and why?

Phil Hellmuth's Play Poker Like the Pros. I say that only because it's such a fabulous subject for mockery. Although not asked, the Cloutier/McEvoy book on Omaha is easily my *least* favorite poker book. I'd sure like my $25 back for that one.

6. Who is your favorite poker player and why?

I don't really have any heroes among the pros. There are lot that I respect, even admire, but they're just poker players. I think I'll say Greg Raymer, since he's a Gopher and a class act.

The only poker camp I'd ever pay to go to would be run by Iggy.

7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why?

Nobody really comes to mind here. I guess I have a particular dislike for obnoxiously slow play, so I'll go with Tiffany Williamson.

8. Do your coworkers know about your blog?

No. We're a small outfit, and nobody else has shown a whit of interest in poker.

9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)?

I've won about $400 in a live cash game and have never won a nickel in a live MTT (unless you count a charity SnG where I finished 2nd and got my entry back). I've won $305 on one table online (playing Party $2/$4 BBJ), and I think my biggest tourney win was a WPBT event for just under a grand. Pretty insignificant.

{edit: I won like $80 in a 2 table "MTT" live once}

10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)?

I lost about $300 one day at Canterbury Park $3/$6 and $4/$8, was down $450 at one point. I don't think I've ever lost more than $250 online in one day.

11. Who was your first poker blog read?

I'm pretty sure it was Iggy. I think BG was second.

12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot?

Aces. I guess that means I don't bluff enough.

13. Why do you blog?

It's entertaining. Heck, I talk to myself anyway, why not do it in print form? This way I can at least edit the drivel that comes out. I probably continue to do it because (a) I play, (b) I enjoy reading other blogs, and (c) there are some very cool people out there.

14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog?

Primarily Bloglines, but I do visit a fair number of blogs -- even if it's just to read a complete post or comment. I like to stay on top of things, and Bloglines makes it very easy to do so.

15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living?

Sure. But then again, I'd rather herd yaks in Uzbekistan than do what I do for a living.

16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion?

If I ever have spare cash, I'm buying stock in the Reynolds Wrap people.

17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player?

Confidence. Complete and utter confidence.

18. Is Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas?

Top 5 at least. Mrs. Drizz ranks right up there as well.

19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it?

Do I even have a poker goal? Not sure. I guess my primary goals are to not go busto and to maybe improve a little bit. I think I'm doing okay. Maybe I need a more specific goal like paying something off with poker winnings -- will need to think about that one. I'd also like to win another MTT, and I haven't been close lately.

20. What is your primary online site and why?

I don't really have a primary site. I play regularly on Full Tilt and Stars, mostly for MTTs. Ring games have been mostly on the Cryptos and Party due to bonuses. I also play on Titan often enough (especially when they give me free money).

21. What site do you dislike and why?

I'm not a fan of Pokerroom and skins. They have a very steep rake and the games I've played have been extremely rockish. On the plus side, they do have Chinese Poker, so it's not like I hate 'em. I just don't have a real good reason to play there.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Poker in Excess

I've put in a lot of time at the tables the last few days. Nothing high stakes, or even low stakes, but it's been a nice change to get back to playing nonetheless.

I picked up a token on Friday night, and hit up the 19k guaranteed on Saturday with a bunch o' bloggers. No luck -- I was in push monkey mode pretty much the entire time, as I never had an M much above 5. Very few big hands, and I got almost no action when I did push in my puny stack. Ended up 92nd (90 places pay). On the plus side of the ledger, I did cash in a $5 PLO8 double stack MTT going on at the same time, busting on a three outer one spot after Daddy Drizz.

Other than that, it's been all PLO all the time. I've run the $25 that Titan gave me up over $100 thanks to the superdonks playing the micro game. It's a shame that there are so few PLO tables going on the iPoker network -- since I prefer playing full ring, that means sometimes playing above (or even way above) comfort level.

Pokerstars is, as you probably know, running a promotion leading up to their 5 billionth hand. Four of the 'magic hands' have hit so far, and i've been around for three of them. The last one hit about midnight ET last night -- I was, for lack of any better ideas -- eight tabling microlimit PLO.

Here's a tip: Don't do it.

I have no idea how the eight tablers do it. I mean, I'm comfortable with four tables. Six is doable but requires concentration. Eight is kind of nuts. Keeping up with the action wasn't a big problem, but forget about making any kind of informed decision. Some of it, I'm sure, is the choice of game, but I think it'd be plenty challenging to try and estimate outs in a plain vanilla limit HE game with that much going on.

Anyway, enough about that. The next 'magic hand' should hit sometime early afternoon today, which means I won't be around. The one after that should be sometime this evening and I'll probably miss that one too. Life can be so inconvenient.

And it can suck too. R.I.P. One2Many.

Sorry about the boring brain dump. Maybe I'll post something worth reading when I'm not so pressed for time.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Dear Vanilla Ice,

I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry.

I blame Titan Poker. *You* trying coming up with something to fill the time while folding crap hand after crap hand in a PLO freeroll.

Still, sorry again.

A Donkey

Yo, Party VIPs, Let's kick it!

Nice hand baby, nice hand baby

All right stop, pull up the poker table menu
Right here in this Party Gaming venue
Dikshit is back with a brand new intention
to take all your cash with the sidebet invention
Will losses ever stop? Yo! I don't know
Put it all on red, here we go
To the extreme, I'll risk going busto
Party poker sidebets, I'm goin' for the gusto

Daaamn! The flop was all black
Party Poker be stickin' a knife in my back
Deadly, to my bankroll at least
Gonna shut Party down, and only say 'peace'
I love it can't leave it, just gotta play
I get up to go but I stay and stay
I think I gotta problem, yo can you solve it?
Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby,
Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby

Now that my bankroll is slumpin'
With the tilt kicked in, my chips I'm a dumpin'
Quick on the mouse, all in's what I'm thinkin'
Got three callers, now my spirit sinkin'
There it is, flush card on the last street
I go crazy, just another bad beat
Reload ... gotta get another stack
If I double up maybe I'll make it back
I'm on a roll, about to go loco.

Minraisin', at P L O
Short stack on the table, gonna go
The sharks on standby, tryin to bleed me dry
Did you bet? No, I just folded, guy
Kept on waiting for some good cards
If I ever get some, I'll play em so hard
My money's dead - yo -
So I moved up ... A-1-A, $2000 PLO!

The action's hot, my mouth it's all droolin
Tastin the cash, for real, no foolin
Jealous! cause someone's getting mine
Had a non nut flush, not the quad nines
Reloading, these chumps got gall
Fish at the table still laughing at my call

Double suited aces, say what the hell?
I'm cold pushing -- don't care it's a tell
Low cards on the flop, heart beating so fast
Nobody got a set, maybe I win at last
Second heart on the turn, this deck is fucking stacked
Another on the river, damn flushed AGAIN Jack

Support is on the scene, you know what I mean?
They're banning my chat for getting way too obscene
I think I gotta problem, yo can you solve it?
Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby,
Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby

Take heed, I've mastered how to blow it
Sucking at poker in case you didn't know it
My game, taking all the beat downs
Putting my roll six feet under ground
Cause my style's weak-tight and ill
My straights and flushes never fill
Pot odds and all are a hell of concept
So's hitting a hand, I haven't done it yet
Watch me, all the players say "damn!"
For pure losing skills, I got em in the can
Sklansky's book says my game is too loose,
Still I hate folding since I pay the juice
I think I gotta problem, yo can you solve it?
Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

Nice, nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby,
Nice, nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby

Yo man -- Let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Titan Rules

Another site has come begging for my heavy micro-limit action...

Titan Poker gave me $25 and (supposedly) a Rio SnG token worth $23. Of course I can't cash anything out until I earn something like 125 Titan Points, but who cares? It's money to play with. No deposit required, although they've offered even more bonus stuff if I reload before the end of May.

I heart free poker money.

So far, I've wasted five bucks on a $1K guaranteed MTT. Cruised along into the second hour with an above average stack, and then I got my first pocket pair. Oops. JJ not good against QQ on a non-threatening flop.

Otherwise, I've been putzing around this evening on a $20 PLO table. Titan players are just as awful at PLO as they are at everything else.

Feel free to use bonus code COMIX (ha ha HA, I crack myself up) or one of the folks on the right if you want to pillage Titan for your own benefit. Really. The players are THAT bad.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Which Poker

I woke up this morning with one thought: Ugh, I am not ready to face another week.


This here blog has added a sponsor: The folks over at Whichpoker. They have some unique content, including live tracking of the number of active players and tables at many of the major sites. Want to know how many Omaha tables are running on Party at midnight? They've got that. Along with news, some articles, and a handy tournament schedule.

Check 'em out.

Speaking of things to check out, you probably already have done so, but if not be sure to surf over to the Tao of Poker and read Pauly's writeup of his visit to a Wall Street game:

When I rode the subway to the hotel, I looked around at all the stiffs on the train. The evening commuters had that wary Wednesday look on their faces. I used to be like them... barely awake as I shuffled through life. I had more money in my pocket than they made in an entire month. I was about to gamble the equivalent of their monthly paycheck, while they were rushing home in time to grab a slice of pizza before Lost came on the boob tube and they wasted a few hours before they had to so to sleep and get up to go back to work.
-- Dr. Pauly, "The Wall Street Game"

Barely awake. That's about right.

Fucking Mondays.

Sunday, May 07, 2006


Man am I ever wiped out. Weekends are for recharging? Ha!

Yeah, I realize that this is standard for normal people, but for me (I enjoy doing nothing, often for hours at a time) it's busy, busy, busy.

Spent Friday in the car, going to a funeral way up North, in Hemingway country. Pretty drive, but it made for a long day.

Yesterday started early with a crack of dawn round of golf. Scraped my way around to a thoroughly non-descript 80, which sounds a lot more impressive than it was. Our course is undergoing major construction, which means that it's playing very short. I only hit a driver twice, which was two more times than I should have. Stupid hook.

Turned around and spent all afternoon working on the yard. Coaxed a balky lawn mower into starting, pulled weeds, all that stuff. If you burned all the vegetation I bagged up, you could probably power Cleveland for at least ten minutes.

Dinner break led to a few hours of detail cleaning indoors. What a pain. Getting gunk out of hidden nooks and crannies is not my idea of a good time. But I suppose that people looking at a house inspect those areas to see if it's being kept up, so I have to do it.

{begin obligatory poker content}

Finally quit about 10:00 and played a few hands of PLO to wind down. Ran into an interesting hand. I'm holding A45x (the ace was suited, and I may even have been in the big blind). Loose passive table with lots of limpers. Flop comes 23x (I think x was a Jack) for a wrap. I pot it and get one caller. Turn is a 5, giving me the sucker end. I bet out, get minraised, call it -- thinking A4 more likely than 46 -- and we check the river (which I think paired the board, saving me a decision).

Villain is holding KK46 and has the big end. Interesting decision on his part, calling the flop bet with essentially six outs -- the four fives and two kings. He was actually way ahead with his overpair, but I don't think I would have called there. The EP pot bet screams either set or wrap (or maybe even AA) -- in which case the villain is drawing pretty slim.

End result was a losing session, but other than that hand I played decently, up about five bucks. Not bad considering I couldn't catch anything resembling a monster.

{/end obligatory poker content}

Not much else going on. I work, work around the house, get in a little golf and that's about it. Hope to be able to reload and play a little more regularly in a few months -- at least unless the idiotic kleptocrats in Washington decide to finish making our hobby illegal.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I love Party! I kinda hate Party!

You know it's grim when you shut down the computer for the night and think to yourself "Wow! An actual winning session!"


A couple weeks back Party gave me $75 provided that I played 750 raked hands in about ten days. No problem - I even managed to avoid going busto. A late session where I really, really shouldn't have been playing (read: OMGWTFMegaTilt) wiped out a small profit and I ended up with $45.

Last night I went to cash it out. Figured I'd pay the cell phone bill with it, thanks Party.

No dice. Minimum cashout amount for Neteller (and every other method it looks like) is $50.


Must win five bucks. Took what I needed to a $25NL table with hopes of doubling up. Lost it when my A6s in an unraised pot flopped an ace and two hearts. I even added a gutshot on the turn, but no luck on the river (and no luck pushing out a bigger ace). Min-Rebuy!

Hey, what's this? AA. Push!

Oops. Stacked by 66. Nice hand sir. Min-Rebuy!

Bullied a couple of even shorter stacks, and picked up a few bucks. Still down, though. Bored.

Over to the Cryptos for a little microlimit PLO. Doubled up in the second orbit when double-suited in hearts and diamonds. All red board, with the river making me a nut flush. Sorry your bottom set didn't hold up, pal, but thanks for calling me a fish.

Just enough to be up for the night, I quit. I'll have to give Party another try, maybe I can get above $50, or perhaps I'll just blow the money on SnGs or play PLO with it until I go busto.

Stupid Party.


Not much else going on around here, and I don't have any deep poker thoughts for anyone who happens to have read this far. I had written out a post about this weekend, but decided it was a little too, um, introspectivelystupidlyretarded.

So let's leave it at this: It feels damned good to perform under pressure every once in a while.