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Friday, October 13, 2006

Luck Done Left

{Editor's note: This post is extremely crappy, even by my admittedly low standards. If you're some kind of blog purist or if you just have an adversion to eyeball bleeding, you might just as well skip it.}

Another day, another something. It's Friday and I am certainly paying the price for staying up way too late last night.

At least it was fun. I found myself in the $4k guaranteed HORSE tournament on Full Tilt with a whole passel of bloggers. Wes the Big Pirate and brdweb played well and didn't miss the money by much. Joe Speaker, Drizz and I all managed to cash. In standard donkey fashion I busted out during H -- after running Q9s into 86o who rivered trips after I turned a queen and a straight draw and got the money in. Stupid two card games. Truth be told I was extremely lucky to still be alive at that point. I must have survived a dozen all ins (in a limit tourney!), including ones with junk like 82s in H.

The payout table was pretty steep, so I didn't win much, but it was nice to cash. A top 3 finish would have paid for something nice, like {*cough* a plane ticket to Vegas *cough*} the gas bill this month. It's freaking cold.

Commence random stupid spew rant mode

Hear that Bill Frist, Jim Leach, John Kyl? Last night some internet gambling took place! I wagered ("wasted") $26 and got to spend a few hours being entertained with my invisible internet pals. Some evil company based in (gasp!) Ireland got $2 of my money in exchange for providing those hours of fun.

I'm sure that the entire fabric of American society is about to collapse as a result. Maybe we should invade all those countries that allow and promote internet gambling. That'll teach 'em. Maybe we should nuke 'em. REALLY teach 'em.

Gambling = imminent destruction of the American economy and our entire way of life. It's so obvious. I could have spent that $26 taking in a movie (keep that Coke to the $6 small size please I'm on a budget here). I didn't. I also did not spend it on 23 junior bacon cheeseburgers, hold the lettuce, and a Frosty. I didn't buy the collectors edition of Justin Timberlake Live in Uzbekistan. Retailers everywhere are weeping.

FYI, I also did not spend it drinking about six beers at some bar followed by a drive home through several parked cars. I did not use it to sign up for a one month membership to I didn't go to a strip club or have a 'casual encounter' with a illegal immigrant/hooker named Diamond. Didn't purchase any Cuban cigars or buy gas from Citgo.

I could have, but I didn't. Now that you're done "protecting" me from gambling my life away playing rigged Party Poker blackjack, maybe you can attend to the rest of it? I'm not safe from me, especially in my own house. K, thanks.

Blah, blah, blah. Okay, I'm bored with this rant. You congresscritters can still suck it, but I have to go back to work in order to be able to contribute my share of your salaries.


{The above was written and any acts depicted took place prior to 10:00 AM ET on Friday the 13th October 2006}


Internet gambling? Who does that? Nothing to see here. This is a blog about kitties:

Go Tigers.


BigPirate said...

Didn't notice any of the bloggers there last night. That's the danger of playing too many tournaments at once. Hope I didn't ignore you or anyone else. I'll be on the lookout next time.

Nice work on the cash.

Wolverine Fan said... Hey, that's my favorite site!!

Nice rant, I wish I'd had said it. Freaking puritan congressional baby diddler ba$tards.

Drizztdj said...

Was that Frist showing how he killed the kitties in the name of science?