Insert Expletives Here

Thanks Pokerstars for the blogger freeroll.

Can I have those three and a half hours back?

{Warning: Hand histories, bad beat stories, all that crap you probably hate. Don't read if you can't stand 'em.}

A rainy Sunday in Michigan, so I settled in for a little donkey poker. 2247 runners.

Not interesting early on, as we had at tight table with four or five people sitting out. Donked around some, chipped up nicely with 5c4c making a straight on the turn and a flush on the river vs. a turned two pair. At least things moved fast - our table got in 121 hands in the first hour. Ended at T4010.

Hour 2, still at the same table to start, finally moved after another 15 minutes. Finally flop trips from the big blind with T9o. Iggy joins the table and I get to play about three hands with him on my left, then I get moved to a table with Bazkar. Double up with QQ vs 99. QQ holds up for a side pot against 77, loses the 'main pot' against a short stack's AJs. At the second break I have a mediocre T7535.

During the last half hour, I'm scrambling to get ready for Father's Day activities. I finally grab the laptop and dash out the door at the break. I'll play the rest out from my sister's house.

Which was not the best idea. Very shaky internet connection -- I got dropped about every other hand. Two kids chasing around. Dinner. Relatives. Not good. Loud. Hard to concentrate.

I missed a little more than five minutes of blinds and antes after the break, and am left with T5910. Only missed one playable hand - AKo.

Third hour. I'm not able to chat -- sorry to anyone that popped in, I simply couldn't keep my connection up long enough.

Time for a fun hand. UTG limps. One other limper. I'm in the BB with ATo and check my option. Flop is TT5. UTG leads out for 2x the BB. I push. He has AA and doubles me up. Thanks for that. California April gets moved to my right. I'm moved right after that to another table, one with G-Rob. Miss a chance to triple up my short stack when I fold 55 to a raise and a reraise. Eventually get QQ, which holds up against A9o. I'm still sucking wind with less than T10,000. Bleed, bleed, bleed, get desparate, push. Tc9c vs. AcJc. Oops. But I make two pair and survive. Even I get a suckout every once in a while.

And then I took out G-Rob. With K9o v. K8o. I win the G-Rob bounty!

Oh, what do you mean there wasn't one? Feh. Sorry, G-Rob. Figured your range at 'any 2' at that point. Up to T30,000.

Miss the chance to take out two players with QJs -- didn't like putting half of my stack on the line there (since my M was still only about 5). Lose some chips trying to steal with 99 and having to lay it down on an AJx flop.

Finally, on hand #335, EP minraises, I come over the top for 10x the BB with TT. The small blind has 4x my stack and calls with 99. Flop is 955, I don't resuck, game over.

91st place. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I shut off the stupid computer, ate strawberry shortcake with ice cream and played heads-up Duck Duck Goose with my 2 year old nephew.

Not a bad day. Would have been a much better day if I'd had something to show for the poker. Oh, well.