CONTACT: resipsapoker at hotmail dot communism is a failed system

online casinos accepting US players

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Dear Vanilla Ice,

I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry.

I blame Titan Poker. *You* trying coming up with something to fill the time while folding crap hand after crap hand in a PLO freeroll.

Still, sorry again.

Sincerely,
A Donkey



Yo, Party VIPs, Let's kick it!

Nice hand baby, nice hand baby

All right stop, pull up the poker table menu
Right here in this Party Gaming venue
Dikshit is back with a brand new intention
to take all your cash with the sidebet invention
Will losses ever stop? Yo! I don't know
Put it all on red, here we go
To the extreme, I'll risk going busto
Party poker sidebets, I'm goin' for the gusto

Daaamn! The flop was all black
Party Poker be stickin' a knife in my back
Deadly, to my bankroll at least
Gonna shut Party down, and only say 'peace'
I love it can't leave it, just gotta play
I get up to go but I stay and stay
I think I gotta problem, yo can you solve it?
Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby,
Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby

Now that my bankroll is slumpin'
With the tilt kicked in, my chips I'm a dumpin'
Quick on the mouse, all in's what I'm thinkin'
Got three callers, now my spirit sinkin'
There it is, flush card on the last street
I go crazy, just another bad beat
Reload ... gotta get another stack
If I double up maybe I'll make it back
I'm on a roll, about to go loco.

Minraisin', at P L O
Short stack on the table, gonna go
The sharks on standby, tryin to bleed me dry
Did you bet? No, I just folded, guy
Kept on waiting for some good cards
If I ever get some, I'll play em so hard
My money's dead - yo -
So I moved up ... A-1-A, $2000 PLO!

The action's hot, my mouth it's all droolin
Tastin the cash, for real, no foolin
Jealous! cause someone's getting mine
Had a non nut flush, not the quad nines
Reloading, these chumps got gall
Fish at the table still laughing at my call

Double suited aces, say what the hell?
I'm cold pushing -- don't care it's a tell
Low cards on the flop, heart beating so fast
Nobody got a set, maybe I win at last
Second heart on the turn, this deck is fucking stacked
Another on the river, damn flushed AGAIN Jack

Support is on the scene, you know what I mean?
They're banning my chat for getting way too obscene
I think I gotta problem, yo can you solve it?
Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby,
Nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby

Take heed, I've mastered how to blow it
Sucking at poker in case you didn't know it
My game, taking all the beat downs
Putting my roll six feet under ground
Cause my style's weak-tight and ill
My straights and flushes never fill
Pot odds and all are a hell of concept
So's hitting a hand, I haven't done it yet
Watch me, all the players say "damn!"
For pure losing skills, I got em in the can
Sklansky's book says my game is too loose,
Still I hate folding since I pay the juice
I think I gotta problem, yo can you solve it?
Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

Nice, nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby,
Nice, nice hand baby, Killa nice hand baby

Yo man -- Let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

2 comments:

Drizztdj said...

I have the strange urge now to type "word to your mutha" each time I take a "beat".

Bravo, sir.

TripJax said...

Man, that was hawesome. I'm still lol'ing.