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Friday, August 12, 2005

Fifty Outs

I know the in thing lately has been to post 100 things about yourself. Since I'm half as cool (at best) and twice as lazy, I'm only giving up fifty, and half of these are really just random thoughts. What can I say, I'm in one of those moods.

1. I tell myself every day "you really should be working harder". It doesn't seem to help.

2. I am a decent cook, I love kitchen gadgets and have many of them. I haven't felt the need for a quesadilla maker yet, though.

3. Turned loose with enough cash, I can do a lot of damage in an office supply store or Home Depot. I hate shopping most anywhere else, especially in mega-stores.

4. I would like to be good enough at poker for it to be a second income, but I'm too lazy to put in the effort required.

5. I'm also very non-aggressive by nature which doesn't help.

6. If I could change one law, I think I'd get rid of the one that prevents cable TV channels from being offered a la carte. I'd be perfectly happy with just ESPN and maybe one or two more.

7. It's been a couple months since I cancelled my cable TV subscription, and I've missed it much less than I expected.

8. I remain hopelessly addicted to the internet.

9. I don't drink coffee or tea.

10. I enjoy a good beer or glass of wine, but really don't drink much. When I do, chances are it's probably going to just be a beer-flavored water like Miller Lite. The colder the better, thank you.

11. I once had a homeless man ask me for a dollar just outside a liquor store, and when I asked him what it was for, he said it was so he could buy another 40oz beer. I appreciated his truthfulness and gave him the buck. I wouldn’t have given it to him if he’d said it was for bus fare or because his car had broken down.

12. I would rather read a good book than do most anything else. Heck, I'd rather read a mediocre book than do most anything.

13. Despite the good feeling I get when I finish a project, it's still usually very hard to get myself to start doing it.

14. I type surprisingly well considering that I've never had any training. I can also 10-key, which comes in handy during tax time.

15. I'm modestly ambidextrous, and have switched to using my mouse at work left-handed to minimize the creeping onset of carpal tunnel.

16. If I have a dominant eye, it isn't very strong. I write and play golf right-handed, swing a baseball bat or hockey stick left-handed.

17. When going to school, I found that several beers at lunch greatly eased the pain of an exceptionally boring 1:25 pm class.

18. Despite living in two states where it's a near religion, I have never gone deer hunting.

19. I have twice won Rotisserie baseball leagues. I now pay almost no attention and am doomed to the middle of the pack. Owning Barry Bonds this year isn’t doing me any favors.

20. I truly suck at fantasy football.

21. I will take a plain appearance and sweet voice over the face of an angel, voice of a harpy any day.

22. I hate vinyl siding and will probably never live in a house built after 1960.

23. If I'm going anywhere within a 12 hour drive, I prefer driving to flying. Thanks, TSA & big Air!

24. Laziness is my biggest personal flaw, I have it in spades along with all its components including procrastination.

25. I believe that it's almost impossible to persuade a stupid person that s/he is wrong, so it's usually not worth the effort.

26. I bought a (cheap) DVD player for the sole purpose of being able to buy and watch the "NewsRadio" DVD collection.

27. I am laughably non-artistic.

28. I also have the worst handwriting you've ever seen.

29. "Some assembly required" does not faze me. "Batteries not included" is much more likely to be a problem.

30. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person I know who will be paying off student loans out of a Social Security check, assuming that Social Security is still around when I hit retirement age.

31. I look ridiculous in a hat. Any hat.

32. I stopped wearing contacts years ago mostly out of laziness. I haven't quite convinced myself that I should start again, since the glasses rarely bother me.

33. What other people think about me concerns me much less than it used to. Probably because I'm more self-aware as to all my various and assorted deficiencies. And also because I just don’t care.

34. I have consumed more Coca Cola in my lifetime than I like to think about. I'm pretty sure my insides are permanently caramel colored and I'm largely immune to caffeine.

35. I usually scare small children but get along OK with the elderly.

36. I had a copy of "The Book of Lists" when I was a kid. I found it fascinating.

37. "The Book Of Lists 2", however, kinda sucked, as do most sequels.

38. One of my favorite stupid little things is sleeping in on a weekend during a thunderstorm.

39. The next time somebody in Las Vegas asks me what I do for a living, I'm going to tell them that I design miniature golf courses.

40. I make a lot of lists, but rarely pay much attention to them.

41. I don’t own a tinfoil hat, but I have googled how to make one.

42. There must be something about me that is irresistable to telemarketers. I had seven calls in the first fifteen minutes I was home yesterday. Two wanted to talk to me about consolidating student loans (done years ago, thank you), one was a ‘charity’, and the other four I managed to hang up on before the computer put Apu from Punjab on the line to tell me about the latest Citibank credit card offer.

43. I am definitely switching to cell-phone only, just as soon as I decide that having a phone at all is in fact worthwhile.

44. I have a single digit USGA handicap index, but I will never be really good at golf because my short game is horrible.

45. My job would be great if it didn’t involve deadlines or dealing with people. Or, for that matter, work.

46. When I was a kid, I never really felt challenged to determine how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop. I usually just crunched the darned thing.

47. I own the world’s most temperamental dishwasher.

48. People always ask me if I played basketball or football in school.

49. They’re always surprised when I say no, I was on the swimming and golf teams, and I was maybe 5’10" and 175 lbs when I graduated from high school.

50. I think the longest hour of the day is the last hour before lunch when you’re really, really tired.


Shelly said...

LOL we have way too much in common! Thanks for the list :)

Weeds19 said...

I can only hope that sucking at fantasy football does not stop you from playing it? What else would we do on Autumn Sundays?

Huge Junk said...

Oh the things I've typed into google...

Drizztdj said...

I get the same thing when inquired about past HS sports. Must have something to do with gaining 100 lbs. since HS.

peacecorn said...

Dude! What have you got against vinyl siding?