What this country really needs is one fewer time zone. Eastern, Central, Mountain, Pacific? Too many. Let's downsize one of them (Mountain being the weak sister of the bunch, it'd be out of here). Redraw the lines, and the world is instantly a better place.
Think about it. No longer does Monday Night Football have to extend until 1:00 a.m. East Coasties might actually be able to see a West Coast baseball game. WPBT Events could start earlier than 9:00 p.m.
I've even drawn a map of how this could work. Okay, so "drawn" is a pretty charitable description, but whatever:
This is too easy. The only state that's in more than one time zone is Montana, and since only about six people live there, no big deal. If it proves necessary, Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont could be moved to the Atlantic time zone, but is it really that likely that anyone will listen to the complaints of a bunch of granola-eating, tree-hugging hippie freaks?
For the sake of humanity, please, let's kill off Mountain Time.
Yeah, I know, I should just get a TiVo. But where's the fun in that?
3 comments:
WRONG! There are at least two dozen people in the Western part of Michigan's (your home state's) Upper Peninsula that are in the Central time zone. Not to mention a couple counties worth of hayseeds in Indiana that do not observe Daylight Savings, which by my calculations puts their current time somewhere in May.
Curses, foiled by the strong arm of geography again.
That's under the current messed up system, Sherlock. When I said no state except Montana would be split, I was referring to the way things ought to be.
Under the perfect 3-zone plan, those few hardy souls still living in the western UP and the lost colony of Indiana will be joined with the rest of the world in Time Zone 3.
By the way, I think you forgot parts of Arizona, Ashley Judd, Chris Moneymaker and a few other states.
I may suck at poker, but I do know geography.
If you change the time zones you might piss off some steer in Montana.
Post a Comment