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Thursday, February 03, 2005

For Your Own Safety...

Greetings. Welcome to a half-azz poker blog.

Before you ride the ride, let's go over a couple of rules. In order to be a winning player, do not play like me. Repeat, do not play like me. For your own safety, ignore any high-falutin' pretensions of actual poker knowledge contained herein.

Let's review some of the reasons why:

1. I own exactly two poker books, one of which relates to limit poker - which I play less and less of. The other is Phil Hellmuth's book.

2. I have tilted off more than 200 BBs in a single session more than once.

3. My worst college grades were in math classes.

4. Prior to last night, I had never won a multi-table tournament with a buyin of more than zero dollars.

5. I have been known to play queen-six suited, "for fun".

6. When I demo'd Pokertracker, it assigned me the previously unknown "jackass" icon.

7. I actually believe it's possible to win money buying lottery tickets and that internet poker is totally rigged.

8. I am a losing player at Party Poker, even with the power of Bonus Code: Iggy.

9. I once lost an extra 7 BB live because I didn't know what another player meant when he offered to "check it down".

10. Do you really need more reasons?

So stand clear of the thought bubbles and you should be okay.

Now, if you're looking for things which will warp your mind and expand your body, you've come to the right place. Want a top 10 list of the best garlic cheese breads in the U.S.? You got it. (btw, J.D. Hoyt's in Minneapolis is #1 on this list). Want an honest debate as to whether Maura Tierney circa 1995 was hotter than Anna Kournikova ever? Bring it on.

Actual poker content? Skip on over to the blogroll to the right and click a link or two. Thanks for stopping by and please [Apu] "come again" [/Apu].

That reminds me, I need to update the list. I read many more blogs than I have listed, but what can I say, I'm lazy and usually use the lists on one of those other sites to click through. Maybe I can remedy that some.

4 comments:

April said...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with #3.

And I love a man who talks Apu...

Congrats on your win!

SirFWALGMan said...

2. I have tilted off more than 200 BBs in a single session more than once.

Amature.

Shelly said...

Maura Tierney, I'd do her. If I did girls, that is. :)

Huge Junk said...

I had absolutely no idea this page was yours! I'd like to take credit for helping to figure it out, but the boygenius did all the work.

Congrats again on winning the tourney. I almost had it there for a few minutes, then the cards were dealt.