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Thursday, January 27, 2005

In Other Words...

Welcome back to the world's worst "poker blog". Poorly-written and not exactly entertaining, this thing is little more than a vanity project. Well, aside from the fact that I don't publicize it. And the fact that I freely acknowledge that I suck at poker.

Not to get all existential or anything, but this blog serves as an outlet, a release, a way to scream out the frustrations of the game without getting all Mattias Andersson. Gaaa, indeed.

I need someone to give me a powerful analogy. I need a word picture for the feeling you get when you've just bubbled out of a sizable tournament, when just 3 hands ago you were looking like a virtual lock for at least low money.

I'm thinking it's somewhere between "football in the groin" and "kicked in the stomach by a largish mule".

As always, there is a kinda-bad beat story involved here. Down to 43 in tonights $10+1 NL $4,000 guaranteed. Top 40 is money. I have half the average stack with about T5000. Blinds at 400/800. I'm dealt TT in the big blind. Two shorter stacks go all in in front of me. In many cases, I have no problem folding in this situation, but this is a pretty solid hand, and I have to like the chance to not quite triple up. I call.

Cards are flipped. My TT is up against AJo and 88. I am ahead!

An 8 comes on the flop.

Now I am behind. I don't improve, and I lose about half my stack. Next hand, I complete the SB with a marginal hand, and the big stack in the BB puts me all in on an unhelpful flop. I fold.

Very next hand, on the button with about T1600 left, I get JJ. I push (duh). The big-stacked BB calls, correctly. He could have any 2 cards.

Unfortunately, those 2 cards are AKo. A king hits the flop, and I bust out 42nd, 2 short of a modest payday.

Although I'm unhappy about not cashing, it isn't the lack of cashing (40th only pays like $19 anyway) that bothers me. It's the feeling you get when you think you're doing something well, only to fall just short. There is a physical reaction to busting out of a tournament -- at least there is for me. I don't like that feeling very much, especially when you're close to accomplishing a goal. I am not good enough to make winning every time a goal, so cashing is something I'm shooting for. When I fail, it hurts.


skitch said...

I know the feeling... working your way through the ranks, slowplaying Aces, stealing blinds, and sitting at that final table. Then seeing the chips spread around to everywhere but you. Blinds start doubling and you can't keep up, and you can't even try to bluff cause anybody else can have you covered.

It feels like you're drowning... you've got a inflatable pool toy but not enough breath to blow it up to keep you afloat.

What I like to do during MTTs, as part of goal-based play, is to keep the prize listings open and always visible, so I always know where that line is that I have to cross to make it into the big money. Helps keep the focus, as I've been known to say after surviving the bubble: "F-it, I'm in the money and will at least break even" and then play stupid and bust out.

Good luck!

on_thg said...

Inflatable pool toy? I love it.

I keep the tournament window open as well, although I've been rethinking that lately, since it seems that knowing how close I am to the money puts me into a shell -- especially if I have a mid-sized stack.

Thanks for stopping by.