Welcome back to the world's worst "poker blog". Poorly-written and not exactly entertaining, this thing is little more than a vanity project. Well, aside from the fact that I don't publicize it. And the fact that I freely acknowledge that I suck at poker.
Not to get all existential or anything, but this blog serves as an outlet, a release, a way to scream out the frustrations of the game without getting all Mattias Andersson. Gaaa, indeed.
I need someone to give me a powerful analogy. I need a word picture for the feeling you get when you've just bubbled out of a sizable tournament, when just 3 hands ago you were looking like a virtual lock for at least low money.
I'm thinking it's somewhere between "football in the groin" and "kicked in the stomach by a largish mule".
As always, there is a kinda-bad beat story involved here. Down to 43 in tonights $10+1 NL $4,000 guaranteed. Top 40 is money. I have half the average stack with about T5000. Blinds at 400/800. I'm dealt TT in the big blind. Two shorter stacks go all in in front of me. In many cases, I have no problem folding in this situation, but this is a pretty solid hand, and I have to like the chance to not quite triple up. I call.
Cards are flipped. My TT is up against AJo and 88. I am ahead!
An 8 comes on the flop.
Now I am behind. I don't improve, and I lose about half my stack. Next hand, I complete the SB with a marginal hand, and the big stack in the BB puts me all in on an unhelpful flop. I fold.
Very next hand, on the button with about T1600 left, I get JJ. I push (duh). The big-stacked BB calls, correctly. He could have any 2 cards.
Unfortunately, those 2 cards are AKo. A king hits the flop, and I bust out 42nd, 2 short of a modest payday.
Although I'm unhappy about not cashing, it isn't the lack of cashing (40th only pays like $19 anyway) that bothers me. It's the feeling you get when you think you're doing something well, only to fall just short. There is a physical reaction to busting out of a tournament -- at least there is for me. I don't like that feeling very much, especially when you're close to accomplishing a goal. I am not good enough to make winning every time a goal, so cashing is something I'm shooting for. When I fail, it hurts.